Car Protection Spell

Some dear friends were having issues with their car being vandalized (a number of times) a few months ago. My first instinct was to recommend they make some Witch's Bottles, and bury them on the property where their car is parked.

But I gave it some more thought and decided that, since they are working with something that doesn’t stay in one place, some more portable protection was needed.

Years ago I studied white magick, and learned various tools for protection. I came up with this ritual for them and figured I’d share it, in hopes that it might help others experiencing similar issues.

Padme’s Car Protection Spell

On a moonlit night fill a large wooden or ceramic bowl with water (about 2/3 full). To the water add a handful of sea salt, some bay leaves (or basil), and some black stones like onyx or obsidian. Most lapidary stores will have small polished stones, but if you don't have such a store in your area, try visiting your local craft store to get some onyx, obsidian or jet beads.

Bring the bowl outside and let the moon shine on it for a while. The idea here is to infuse the bowl with the moon's energies.

Before you do anything else, it’s a good idea to “smudge” the vehicle. Most natural food marts will sell sage smudge sticks. Smudging involves moving around the car in a counter-clockwise direction (also called “widdershins”) while slowly waving the smudge stick up and down, aiming the smoke at the car, being careful not to get any embers on it.

Working widdershins is geared toward banishing any negative forces. If you can’t find a smudge stick, use some incense (preferably sage or cedar). Wave the smoke toward the vehicle.

Then, working clockwise around the car, use the moon-infused water to draw protective symbols, like a pentagram (a five pointed star), an octagon (the shape of a stop sign), an X, a circle with a slash through it or whatever you feel moved to draw. Chant things like “May no harm come to this car” “May this car be protected” as you draw each symbol.

When you’re done, take the herbs and the stones out of the water and dry them. Pour the remaining water around the car.

Keep the herbs and stones and put them in a small blue or black pouch (if you’d like, you can draw protective symbols on the pouch like you did on the car). Take a small piece of parchment (or any nice paper) and write the following in red ink:

Oh Goddess (or whatever deity you prefer), gracious day and night
I call to thee to lend me your might
By the power of three
I conjure thee
To protect all that surrounds me
So mote it be
So mote it be
So mote it be*

Fold the paper three times and place in the pouch with the herbs/stones. Hang the pouch from the rear view mirror.

*Chant inspired by gcola’s on this site

Safe travels!

Glad Samhain

Today is Samhain (usually pronounced SOW-in), the time when the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is thin, making it an ideal time to commune with those who have passed from this realm to the next.

It is in that spirit that I write this post…to express my gratitude to those I have loved and lost in this life:

Grandpa Geo: For teaching me about comic timing

Mrs. Hamel: For teaching me about friendship

Aunt Marian: For teaching me about vulnerability and grace

Mr. Stillwell: For teaching me about sarcasm

Mrs. Zastrow: For teaching me to look deeper into the written word but never so deep that the work loses its beauty

Jess: For sharing your music and helping me find mine

Aunt Eleanor: For teaching me that pride often masks shame

Gramma: For teaching me the importance of faith and devotion

Aunt Betty: For teaching me that I will never be too old to play

Tom: For teaching me that a man with a beard can look damn sexy in a dress

Gerry: For teaching me the importance of family of choice

Lee: For teaching me that all creative acts are rituals

Albert: For helping me see that every part of me is sexy

Sally: For teaching me that life is always worth the hassle

Grammy: For teaching me the perils of gambling and grudges

Dale: For helping me see I’m just as tough as the most tattooed, pierced, branded broad, and for allowing me to love and care for Pete and vice versa

Stump: For letting me experience what it feels like to be loved unconditionally

Dad: For teaching me how I want to be: loving, affectionate, open, compassionate, nonviolent, independent, accepting, self-confident, easygoing, and creative

Ken: For teaching me the wisdom of forgiveness (most importantly to forgive myself), for showing me the heights at which I can know joy and the depths at which I can know sorrow. And for being the one I most look forward to reuniting with on the other side of the veil…

Day Three...

Back on a daily dose of Effexor and already I feel better. When I turn a corner; I don’t feel like my brain is still heading the other direction. I have more energy, focus, and best of all, despite the fact that my right SI is still paining me, I’m not feeling weepy and worn out.

I went to see “The Dark Knight” Saturday night. It wasn’t an easy movie to watch by any means, and I felt a bit let down afterward. Not because I was disappointed by any of the performances, or the direction, or the cinematography, but because it’s a grim tale and Nolan was relentless in the action, leaving me no time or space to fully grasp the enormity of the incidents…or their impact. I left feeling confused about what the events really meant for Gotham, and not sure if I agreed with the conclusions the characters (or the director) had drawn from them or not.

Admittedly, I was (and am still) reeling from the impact that The Joker had on me. I’m still not quite sure that I saw Heath Ledger in this movie. I saw The Joker and he was scary as hell…

Even sitting still, I saw no peace in this man. I could almost sense the machinations of his mind.

No wonder Heath Ledger complained of insomnia and an inability to quiet his mind while he was filming TDK… What a mind-fuck!

On a brighter note, I went to see “Mamma Mia” Sunday afternoon and felt pretty shiny-happy afterward.

Having read reviews of both films, the critics, quite rightly, have sung the praises of “The Dark Knight” (and Heath Ledger’s performance in particular) and have been mixed (with more bad than good) in their reviews of “Mamma Mia”.

“Mamma Mia” is not great cinema (it’s not great theatre), but it’s freakin’ fun! I whooped and cheered and laughed and sang along.

As she was leaving, a woman who was sitting in the next row thanked me and my movie companion for making her time more fun because we were so obviously having such a good time. Only then did it occur to me that we’d been the only two in a full house really cheering and whooping it up.

And I didn’t care.

I’d see it again and probably enjoy it just as much…

I’m not sure I could say the same for “The Dark Knight.”

Effexor Withdrawal

I feel bad that I haven’t posted in such a long time.

I feel bad about a lot of things lately…

Around 6 months ago I started taking a low dose of Effexor. My gyn thought it would help with the pelvic pain as well as help me with the barrage of unwanted thoughts I’d been experiencing whenever I’d try to relax.

And she was right. It helped with the pain, it helped with depression, it helped me sleep, and it reduced my automatic negative thoughts. I had energy, I felt happy…

Unfortunately, there’s an inherent trade off with Effexor. Typical of select serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), Effexor significantly dampens the libido, even at the lower dosages. It helped with the vestibulitis and my other issues, at the expense of my sex drive.

In April my gyn set up a physical therapy appointment to address my vestibulitis an pelvic floor spasms. Since then I’ve been working to wean myself off of the Effexor. Thus far the best I’ve done is cut back to one 37.50mg dose every other day. Any longer than that between doses and I experience what I call brain zaps. Throughout the day I have small ‘seizures’. My eyes roll back and I feel like my brain is having a spasm. They last for maybe a second or two, but they are scary.

And I’ve been more anxious, more prone to headaches, incredibly lethargic, and even abstaining from caffeine hasn’t helped my insomnia.

It’s yet another downside of many SSRIs…their short half-life means more severe withdrawal symptoms.

To top it off, the heavy rains we’ve had here every day for what seems like a month has me on a near constant dose of ibuprofen to deal with the pain in my right sacro-iliac. I try to only take enough to make the pain tolerable (not wanting to sacrifice the health of my kidneys, liver and intestines by taking mass quantities of the stuff).

But tolerable isn’t pain free…it’s not even close. Tolerable is, for me, reducing the pain just enough to allow me to focus on something else, anything else for substantial periods of time…

Tolerable is being functional at work, but not stellar. Tolerable is being able to carry on a conversation, but not be fully present, or able to follow a complex train of thought.

Tolerable is being able to focus on making simple projects, but nothing particularly inspiring or challenging.

Tolerable is being able to read other blogs, but not able to formulate any sort of worthy response.

Tolerable is a pitifully far cry from being my best self.

The withdrawal symptoms and the pain are taking a terrible toll. To say I’ve been emotionally fragile is putting it mildly. To say I’ve been vacillating between lethargy and volatility also seems too polite.

It’s been a rough time, with nothing to indicate that I made the right choice to get off the Effexor save for a couple brief moments where I felt a slight flutter of passion. Two moments…in a period of 3 ½ months is not very encouraging.

This isn’t living…this is wasting. I’m a waste of time, space, energy…

I hate myself like this. I hate being in constant physical and emotional pain, particularly when there’s been no pay off for it.

I hate that my body doesn’t function properly without artificial ingredients. I want to be earthy, natural, organic, empowered…it’s hard to feel like I’m embodying those concepts when I’m forced to adhere to an allopathic regime in order to function.

On the other hand, Effexor even in the low dosage helped me in so many ways; I feel like I was much closer to being the woman I wanted to be when I was on it than I have been in trying to go off it…

I don’t feel that I’m clear-headed enough to know if this just wasn’t the right time to taper off the Effexor, or if there’s ever going to be a right time to do it. And that uncertainty makes me wonder if I should continue in trying to taper off.

I have read that Prozac, because it has a longer half-life, has fewer withdrawal symptoms than Effexor. So it would still be an SSRI, but it would be easier to stop taking (should I make that choice on down the line). It’s something to discuss with my gyn when I see her next month.

For now, I think it’s better to go back on a daily dose and look into other options with a healthier mindset and hope that I’ll feel better sooner rather than later…

I'm running for President...

Back to Inanna

Inanna is my guiding goddess this week.

Inanna and I are old friends; I’ve worked with her in a number of rituals in my past.

One outstanding example took place thirteen years ago, on Samhain. I was privileged to participate in a symbolic Descent of Inanna ritual. The ritual took place in the dark of night on a hillside near a sulfur spring. The heat from the spring and the stench of sulfur gave an eerie impression of the Underworld.

Instead of dressing like Inanna and giving adornments and clothing to gatekeepers, we each wrote seven things we valued on seven pieces of paper. We wrote things like family, friends, possessions, laughter, sex, speech, sight… As we worked our way down the hill, we stopped at each gateway, read what we had written out loud and then handed that piece of paper to the gatekeeper. At the end of our descent we were symbolically naked, alone, and powerless.

At that point we were given bread and water to symbolize the food and water of life and then allowed to return up the hill, now free from past influences…tabula rasa.

~~~

I think Anita Revel phrases the symbolism of the descent of Inanna quite well: “Inanna's journey into the underworld and subsequent revitalization represents the soul's evolution through hardship into glorious renewal.”

The affirmations for Inanna (from the Release Your Inner Goddess website) are:

Negative influences have made me stronger
My new life path reveals itself to me
I say goodbye to destructive influences
I release my insecurity
I release myself from harmful judgment
In releasing the negative, I welcome the positive

And at this point in my life, as I’m actively letting go of past hardships, bidding farewell to unhealthy patterns, opening myself to a new way of being it seems amazingly apropos to be reminded of my old friend Inanna.

Friday’s Five

This morning the skies over Albuquerque were dotted with dozens of hot air balloons. Lovely…

Lunching with the boss…on his dime (and on the clock!) where discussion about work matters was not allowed.

Article: I Love You Just the Way You Were sent to me by my beautiful sister-in-law.

Today’s Message from the Universe: “Free from the past, I now move forward and create a life beyond fear.” Nice… Well timed, that.

The rest of my Amazon book order came in yesterday’s mail. So I now have:

Healing Wise (Wise Woman Herbal Series) by Susun Weed. Susun’s book on menopause is amazing. If you’re in the process of “croning” I highly recommend it.

Luna Yoga: Vital Fertility and Sexuality by Adelheid Ohlig. I learned about this book when I was doing internet research on blood mysteries and found this excerpt which inspired me to read more.

The Once and Future Goddess: A Sweeping Visual Chronicle of the Sacred Female and Her Reemergence in the Cult by Elinor Gadon. A really gorgeous book which I’ve only just leafed through…

105 Ways to Celebrate Menstruation by Kami McBride, another book found while researching blood mysteries.